Fact: many dental working women have moments of a little “Ponytail” envy

I found out last night that it is not only me, but many working women (women dentists) have what I will call – Ponytail envy. You ask – what is Ponytail envy? Read on…
I recently had the honor of being invited to be a part of an all women dental study group and last night was our FIRST meeting!!! We had the opportunity to bring a lot of women from all different areas together, make introductions and histories, and set the groundwork of what we wanted out of our study group and future meetings, topic, venues, etc. I was so happy to be included and it was really an eye opening, really FUN yet mind-tiring evening for me – for many reasons. Just to share a few…(I can’t share everything with you – the table was “like Vegas – no names, what said there will stay there” but I can share what I learned from the evening…)

First was that I was the YOUNGEST (strike one) and ONLY female dental ASSOCIATE (strike two) except for one other lady who has been an associate for 20 years – all of the other women owned their own practices!!! There were women of all ages, of various specialties, but all had very similar experiences as business owners – a realm that I know VERY little about. I realized that as a new dentist, for me, the topics of interest for me – like business management and how to evaluate staff issues and employment law, are hurdles that these ladies have already jumped through. But the key was that they are STILL dealing with those issues today – even after years of practicing. It is a constant learning process – (I knew that but to see it in front of me was amazing).positive & negative…and I’d rather learn from the negative vicariously.

Second that as I have thought in the past, other females share the philosophy that the male “style” of practicing dentistry is very different.  Not that we are discriminating or sexist – it is just fact – that women are different than men. How we approach things, generally, are different also! It isn’t any different in dentistry. We laughed because as empathetic females we are empathizing with our patients about their deep cavities and apologize that they need to have a root canal and a crown, instead of the very matter-of-fact male statement – “you have a cavity. You need a root canal and you need a crown and that will be over $3000. Now I know I am generalizing, but we ALL laughed because we ALL do that with our patients! As if it is OUR fault that they have a deep cavity or bleeding gums.

Third- not that I didn’t know this before, but I was so proud of these working female dentists. These lades WORK HARD – some confessed they hadn’t taken a vacation in a LONG time – due to time constraints, health issues, business constraints – boundaries that are often self-enforced. They COULD take a vacation, but many choose not to – letting the patients, finances, production & work schedule and schedules months in advance dictate what can and cannot be done.

My 4th shared lesson and to discuss the title of my entry -is that working ladies around me (ME INCLUDED) have a small amount of PONYTAIL ENVY. All of us career ladies work very hard- we LOVE dentistry and what we do for patients or else we wouldn’t do it. We also want to learn and try to master a craft while at the same time contribute to our families. There are many ladies out there that make the choice of staying home – whether it be with their children, or family preference. And that is wonderful. We understand that we choose to work as much and as hard as we do – probably at the sacrifice of many other facets of life. But we still love and do it. BUT on days that are particularly hard or difficult for us – or we are sick or tired, we wish we could be one of those lucky women that goes on morning walks with their baby stroller, in their beautifully fit tiny clothes on equally tiny bodies, not worry about disability insurance, patient cavities…ponytails swinging – hence the waxes and wanes of PONYTAIL ENVY. It isn’t really envy – but a lifestyle we haven’t embraced and it is very much a “grass is greener” approach in our minds.

I think that my last lesson I want to share is one of the most important. I think that I knew this lesson before – but it was verified further last night. The lesson was that these ladies stressed the importance of PRIORITIES IN LIFE- meaning that work is work and they make that a huge (sometimes overpowering) priority in their lives – but LIFE BALANCE & FAMILY& QUALITY TIME is what really matters. Because if something happens to us, our health, our practice, or anything else work related – patients, their problems, their cavities – they would all continue without us just fine – and all the little stresses that add up – in the end don’t mean that much to anyone, but US.

I can’t wait to go to our next meeting!!! We are trying to think of a name – what do you think of “Chicks with Burs” – too chicky??

image courtesy of: mylilventure.com